Chapter 2 – Lively Daily Changes (Part 2)
"Maybe she's already there.", I muttered as I walked to the infirmary after school.
Normally, I went to the infirmary to help Sensei, but lately, the purpose was different.
"How do you develop tolerance for someone with such a beautiful heart?"
A dry laugh escaped my mouth, "hahaha," and at the same time, I looked at her expressionless face.
If she was as cold as she looked, I wouldn't be so worried.
The more I talked to her, the more I felt a certain sense of mission.
If I didn't know her, she would be just an ordinary classmate, but after I got to know her, I became worried.
I became tired of my own nature.
"I can only complain about this, but yes, this is how my personality is..."
Sighing, I continued on my way and before I knew it, I was already in front of the infirmary.
I stood at the door and reached out to open it. Then I heard a familiar and beautiful voice.
(...The club activities sound fun. I envy them, it seems like they're very close to each other...)
You're here so early. Really.
Yes, ever since that volunteer cleanup event── I've been spending a lot of time with her after school.
I'm not looking for a girlfriend or an intimate relationship, I'm just helping her with what she's trying to accomplish.
We had rehearsed the conversation, and she complimented me without question and with sincere feelings, and I felt an indescribable feeling in my heart.
I wonder if she would have backed out if she had known that I could hear her inner voice.
I sighed and opened the door slowly.
"Excuse me."
The moment I entered the infirmary, my eyes caught Kurusu's figure in front of me.
She was standing by the window, staring blankly outside, seemingly unaware of my presence.
"...It's like a painting, isn't it?"
Such words naturally came out of my mouth when I saw her, and I immediately closed my mouth.
What I was talking about... it was very embarrassing if she heard it.
But it was inevitable that such words would come out. I made an excuse in my mind.
Because the light shining through the window was shining on her, the red light of the setting sun was like a spotlight, creating a somewhat mysterious atmosphere.
Her appearance was so attractive that those words came out of my mouth.
Don't be stupid. Don't show your panic.
I slapped my cheeks and took a deep breath. After adjusting my expression, I looked at her. She seemed to have just noticed my presence and turned and bowed her head politely.
"You came early. Did I keep you waiting?"
(...I came in a hurry because I was looking forward to it... But I was too shy to say so...)
She shook her head, then looked down with downcast eyes.
"Okay. That's good then."
I was at a loss for words when she hit me first.
Not wanting her to notice how salty I was, I immediately turned the conversation to Kurusu.
"Oh, by the way, Kurusu. Is Sensei not here today?"
"Just the two of us." (...I can talk a lot with Kaburagi-kun)
"Heee..."
【No one will come】 (...Sensei's replacement. But if someone comes with broken bones... What should I do?)
"............"
No, I will not misunderstand that statement, so it is fine with me.
Why do you say it in such an embarrassing way? Besides, her eyes were sharp and sullen, and if you looked at her from the side, others would definitely think that she was planning something.
For someone who doesn't know her, that's a bit scary...
I sighed and looked around to see where Sensei had gone.
Her belongings were nowhere to be found, neither was her bag, it didn't look like she was coming back anytime soon.
"Hmmm. Is Sensei at the club or the meeting?"
【Yes】
"I see. But this place won't work without Sensei."
If others see us together in the infirmary room without sensei, they might misunderstand. Even if I don't hide anything, there are people who will make fun of me for it, so it's a tricky situation.
But that doesn't mean that I can rent another place on the same day because I didn't ask the student council to use the room.
If Sensei tells me, I'll be able to do something about it...
"What should we do? Should we cancel it today?"
While I was worrying, Kurusu started writing something with an impatient look on her face.
After she finished writing, she showed it to me from a distance as if it was going to hit me in the face.
【Sensei said, "I put a sign at the entrance, so you can use it as you please. But don’t do anything weird".】 (...I don’t want to go home)
"Really? I didn't know there was such a sign at the entrance... Besides, that's what Sensei is worried about, huh?"
(...If something happens, I'll do my best. I'm ready.)
"Well, I know you're ready. What are you going to do with some bandages and that kind of heavy equipment?"
(...Yosh!)
I laughed at her inexplicable spirit.
"Haha. I understand that you're very excited, but the only thing we'll be doing in the infirmary is first aid..."
【Understood】 (...Too bad. I had a chance to look useful...)
"Well, don't be discouraged. It's better to have free time and be free of trouble in the infirmary. It's more peaceful and quiet, isn't it?"
(...Health comes first...)
"Anyway, what we can do is not to panic. Let's just be calm and relaxed."
【Sasuga, Master】 (Calm and mature... he's so cool)
I'm not a master...
Well, I won't tell her because I can see that she will be disappointed if I deny it.
"Okay. Then let's start right away, Kurusu──eh, what are you doing?"
As promised, I tried to help Kurusu and she hurriedly started to get ready.
A headband was placed on her head and a voice recorder was placed on her desk. She set up her cell phone and adjusted it to record me, as if she wanted to make a video. Finally, she took out a notebook, held a piece of chocolate in her hand, and looked at me seriously.
【Please】 (...Concentration, concentration)
Please, huh. Um... is this a press conference or something?
(...I have to record it so I can practice at home)
"I knew that you were very serious. But I never knew that you would record it."
【Review】 (...Kaburagi-kun's voice, I want to hear it over and over again)
"Hahaha... yeah, reviews are important, right?"
The sound of her heart is bad for my heart, so it makes me laugh strangely...
I know you just want to practice your conversation at home, but I don't think it's necessary.
I cough to clear my throat and return to the original topic.
"So, let's think about how to make Kurusu's communication work. I'm embarrassed to say it myself, but you mean like me, right?"
(...I want to know the tips. I think it will work)
"Oh, I apologize in advance if you expect too much. Because in reality, it won't work."
Kurusu looked so disappointed that I could almost hear the 'gahn' sound effect, and she lowered her head. The way she looked at me with her eyes reminded me of a Chihuahua.
"That's not it, sorry! Simply put, it's often difficult to imitate the way someone does things. I'm still me, so no matter how hard you try to imitate me, you can never be me, and if you try too hard, it will be bad for you."
Besides, in my case, I have the cheat of being able to hear other people's inner voices, so there's no way I can make her imitate me... Well, I won't be able to tell her that.
Kurusu, who probably understood what I was saying, straightened up and sat down.
【What should I do?】
"It's simple. I'll increase the number of people who know about Kurusu's goodness."
【Goodness?】
"You're honest, hardworking... and dumb."
(...I don't think that's a compliment, right? But if Kaburagi-kun says it, then it's a compliment, right?)
"Haha. In short, let's make friends. When we make friends, we should have a relationship where we respect and care for each other and can speak honestly. That kind of friendship is what I want."
【True friends】 (...Friendships that last a long time and never change. An equal friendship. That's what I long for)
"Oh, yeah, you already know that, Kurusu. It's nice to have someone like that in your life, isn't it? So my goal is to find someone like that."
(...A friend we can talk to when we get older. Yes...just thinking about it makes my heart warm. I have to work hard for it)
There was no change in her expression, but Kurusu clenched her fists as if she was excited.
The more I get to know her inside, the sweeter she looks... If I didn't know her inside, I'd think she was a psychopath shaking her fist at me with no expression on her face.
So... we should do smile training.
There was no harm in it, and if it improved, it would make a difference in her impression.
I wanted to tell her directly and take action, but...hm.
I looked at Kurusu.
She seemed to be waiting for my reaction and her eyes were shining.
──Sure, it will get out of control.
I was sure of it, remembering what happened in the infirmary and during the voluntary cleanup.
Kurusu has the advantage of being a serious and hardworking person, but she also has the disadvantage of being inflexible.
So if we rush, we might get a flat tire trying to do everything.
If I say, "Let's try everything today!", she'll do it right away without asking anything.
So, even if it's going to be slow, we just have to take it one step at a time...right?
"Why are you pulling my sleeve... Ah-, you want to ask me something? Sorry, I was just thinking."
(...Sorry for interrupting)
"Yes. Anyway, don't mind. I don't feel bothered by you at all, and I'm even grateful to you for bringing me back to reality."
I followed up when she showed concern.
Then she seemed relieved and started writing what she wanted to ask on her tablet.
【What kind of friend do you think Kaburagi-kun is? 】
"Me?"
She nodded her head, seemingly interested.
"Is that something you are interested in? Well... let's see. If I had to say it... it's probably like 'Guan Bao Friendship’." [TN: This is a Chinese phrase of historical metaphor referring to a deep and trusting relationship between friends]
(...You are a very knowledgeable person, Kaburagi-kun. I don't even know...)
"It's a term you rarely hear. But that doesn't mean much. Let's just think about how good it will be in the future."
I interrupted the conversation and brought the large whiteboard in the infirmary in front of Kurusu.
"So, let's get started. To make friends, I'll get to know Kurusu better. Right now, I'm sure that opportunity will often pass before they get to know you."
【Unfortunately】 (...Because I can't talk as usual)
"Therefore, I will try to create an opportunity for people to talk to you, and prepare you to use that opportunity successfully. First of all, I would like to ask you, Kurusu, do you know the 'three most important factors' to be liked by people?"
Kurusu tilted her head in confusion at my question, so I wrote the three elements on the board.
"Well, this is just my theory. I roughly break it down into three: appearance, personality, and timing."
(...I can imagine appearance and personality, but what does timing mean?)
"Timing is whether or not you're on the same wavelength. You know, sometimes there are people who get on other people's nerves because of their bad timing, no matter what they do. Like, 'What now?' or 'Why now?', something like that."
(...I feel like I'm the only one like that)
"Don't be too sad about it. It's just a matter of compatibility and whether you can successfully match with the person you're talking to. Besides, the previous two things are more important than that timing."
【None】 (I've never been praised...not even once)
"Really?"
Kurusu felt sad after writing this, and lowered her head with slumped shoulders.
Apparently, she has low self-confidence...
Well, I understand. She never knew, because if no one came to her, there was no way for her to know her self-esteem.
If she continues to lose confidence, nothing will change. In that case, I should comfort her...
"I may not be very convincing when I say this, but Kurusu is not bad at anything."
(...Really?)
Kurusu reacted to my words and looked up slightly, then went back to listening.
I confirmed this and continued speaking.
"I don't have to tell you how beautiful you are, right? If I take a picture of you and post it on social media, it's bound to go viral."
(...I'm embarrassed. My face feels hot)
"And even your personality, if people notice, you'll definitely be liked. You're hardworking, determined, and focused. You can also take care of others and respect them. That's a good element, like stepping back to defend others or being honest."
(...This is the first time anyone has praised me like this. I'm happy to hear it, but... I'm not used to being praised)
Then, after that──.
Kurusu held my hand and shook her head from side to side.
I couldn't see her expression as she looked down, but her ears looked red.
(...No. Don't go on... My heart will stop)
"Oh, I'm sorry. But I just want you to know that if you change a little, things will change for the better."
(...Thank you...Thank you)
Kurusu's face was red and agitated, but it seemed like her thoughts had turned positive.
I mean...I have a hunch that if the people around her saw her embarrassed expression and such, they would squirm with amusement.
It's a pity that she can't show that kind of expression yet.
Well, all this would be solved if I could talk about it... but it's hard to ask when the reason for not being able to talk is something sensitive.
"Well, I guess you get my point now. If Kurusu can change your initial impression, you'll definitely be able to have a smooth conversation."
【Received】
"By the way, do you have any other means of communication besides the tablet?"
【Tablet only】 (...I can't talk. I'll freeze...)
"So that's it... Well, I'll have to think of a way to make better use of this tablet."
Kurusu lowered her head.
I thought I had seen a bit of her face and it looked like she was biting her lip as if she was holding a bitter memory.
I'm sure there must be some problem that caused her communication disorder.
But I can't ask more now.
Everyone has things they don't want to say.
Even I have one or two things I don't want to tell anyone. So I convinced myself.
Well, I'm going to help her anyway.
I will increase her chances of getting involved and see what I can do for her.
"For now, let's exchange contact information, okay?"
【Home phone number?】
"No, not that. Look, you brought your cell phone, right? We're going to meet, and if I don't have your contacts, I can't ask you if something happens, right?"
(Yes... but do you really want to exchange contacts with me?)
"If you don't want to give me your contacts, I'll find another way."
【I will】
When she answered like that, her eyes lit up in an easily understandable way.
Then, in a panic, she took her cell phone out of her pocket and put it on her lap.
She stared at her phone, waiting for instructions.
...I'm so excited and a little embarrassed.
"Could it be that Kurusu doesn't know how to do this?"
Kurusu turned her face awkwardly at my question.
She thinks if people know what she can't do, they'll be disappointed.
Well, I have to do it myself.
"Well, give it to me. The app... oh, it's downloaded. Is it a rabbit? Could it be the result of your wool crafting?"
(...Oh, don't look at that)
Kurusu was embarrassed. Her face, which usually showed no change, turned red and she hid it with her hands.
Unfortunately, she couldn't hide her ears. What's more, because her inner voice was leaking out... I could hear her former embarrassed voice at a high volume.
I smiled and pretended not to know.
"I'll call you when I apply for permission to use the classroom, or when I'm going to meet you."
【Too much hassle?】 (I’m happy... but...)
"That's okay. I always help Sensei after school, and I was thinking of asking Kurusu to help if you can... Yosh, my contacts have been added."
I handed the phone back to Kurusu and let her check the screen.
Kurusu happily looked at my icon 'ritu'.
(...I'll send it)
While she was thinking that, my phone rang and the screen lit up.
I looked at the screen and saw that she had sent me a cute bunny sticker.
"You have a cute sticker."
(...Fufu, this is the first time I've sent one)
"Well, feel free to contact me. I'll send you some too."
【May I?】
"Yes, you can. I'm always free, so it's sad if you don't want to."
She lowered her head, turned around and put her phone in her pocket.
Her move seemed like a refusal...
I couldn't see her expression, but────,
(...I'm so happy...Hehe)
Her voice echoed in my head.
◇ ◇ ◇
That night. I stayed up late as usual.
However, my family became a bit more nagging because they knew I had gotten sick earlier.
"Don't stay up late, go to bed!!"
I replied to my sister's worried voice.
I quickly turned off the light and lay down on the bed.
It seemed that my family already understood my personality. I heard a voice from the hallway say, "Let's wait a while and see what he's going to do".
As I stood still and caught my breath, my little sister's presence at the door finally receded.
"Well, now that the surveillance is gone. Let's study."
At that moment, as if knowing my situation, my phone screen lit up and vibrated with a 'buzz'.
I looked at the screen and saw,
>(Kurusu): Thank you for your guidance and encouragement. I will take today's message to heart and continue to work hard in the future.
This was the message I received from Kurusu.
"What a rigid person..."
I sighed and shrugged.
I knew that she was a serious person, but this message from her to her classmate felt very unnatural.
>(Kaburagi)[Draft]: I just want to do it, so don't worry. But your sentence is too stiff, honestly.
"Well, is that right? I'll send it."
>(Kurusu): I see.
"...Uh, didn't she answer too quickly?"
I was stunned when I looked at my phone.
It only took a few seconds to get a reply. I thought Kurusu would spend a lot of time thinking about a sentence... And why is it written in hiragana? There are a lot of things I don't understand...
"Well... anyway"
>(Kaburagi): I was surprised at how quickly you replied. And why use hiragana?
>(Kurusu): It was fast.
"You're too fast, hey."
Replying right away is good, but...I don't know what you were thinking!!!
That means she was waiting for an answer. Or is she just trying to shorten the chat?
Given her personality, I think it's the latter... but... Ah, I wouldn't know if it was just through the phone screen.
I think if she talked more through chat, the communication would go better, but I don't think that's going to happen.
I guess the world isn't that simple.
I sighed and turned to my phone.
What should I do, does she want to sleep soon or does she want me to ask... No, I think it's better to check Kurusu's true intentions. I'll ask, "Is there something you want to ask me?" and then I'll guess from her answer and decide what to do... And then she came back with another question.
>(Kurusu): Practice tomorrow?
"We will indeed practice, but... we've discussed this before. So it seems like she doesn't want to finish this chat right now, right? Hmm..."
I put the phone down and imagined Kurusu on the other side of the screen.
I can't imagine her holding the phone and looking at the screen all the time... If she's not used to it, maybe she's sitting on her knees, trying not to be rude?
Or maybe she thought she had to answer as quickly as possible?
"Haha. That's impossible, right...!"
I laughed and looked up at the dark ceiling.
I had a bad feeling about this, so I thought I should try to find out.
It might be an unnecessary worry, but I'll check it out anyway. In a joking tone.
>(Kaburagi): Kurusu. Anyway, you don't have to sit on your knees when you reply, right?
Well, I hope I'm just thinking too much, but I immediately checked the reply text from her.
>(Kurusu): Understood.
The content of her reply made me laugh.
...So it's true, huh.
I sighed and put my hand to my forehead.
Anyway, I couldn't hear her thoughts through the electronic device. Only when she was near me.
So I'm not cheating this time, I'm really just guessing...
"If I'm right about this, I'm sure I'm right about the other. She's really going to hold on to her phone and not let go of it for a moment."
I'm starting to think that if she doesn't get an answer from me, she'll keep waiting until morning.
Maybe I was thinking too much, but it was hard to stop thinking about Kurusu waiting for an answer.
"Next time we meet, let's decide how long she should wait."
I decided that and continued to communicate with her──until morning.
TL: Retallia (JP-ID), Tanaka (ID-EN)
PF & ED: Retallia